Be Better

This may be simply taking issue with semantics, but this means a whole lot to me.

I really struggle with the notion of "just be yourself." What does that mean? If by "just be yourself" you mean that I should appreciate the parts of myself that are unique to me and are valuable even if they aren't popular, then I can get on board.

It's true that there are parts of myself that I love. I like that I'm good with names and faces. I like that I experience emotion in large doses. I think my ankles are really pretty and I've got some rockin' calf muscles (both of which I owe to my angel mother). I don't want to change these things.

But if you mean that I am perfect the way I am, I have to say I disagree with you.  I don't want to be the person I am right now forever. I'm not perfect. I'm impatient. I have to make a truly conscious effort not to swear every time I stub my toe, and I can't go ask for an oil change without having a nervous breakdown. Myself is not the greatest. Myself has a long way to go before she's perfect.

So I don't want to just be myself. I would much rather be better. And if I just be myself I won't get to change these things. Though perhaps it's unintentional, I feel that the phrase "just be yourself" gives an individual permission to never change. Since when has that been okay? Why are we so uninterested in the progress of our own lives? The idea that no one is perfect is not an excuse for not trying to be. I sure as heck won't become perfect if I'm just myself and settle for what naturally comes to me.

I don't want to just be me.

I want to be better.